Dear Diary

I. Lost. My. Diary. Okay, it’s not a diary—it’s a journal. What’s the difference? Nothing, really. It just sounds better for those of us who are over the age of 13. Anyway, to get back on topic, my journal is missing. I’m not talking an “oops I misplaced it, and need to retrace my steps” missing. I’m talking…

Status: Single

My ex used to test my loyalty by asking, “If I die, how long would you wait to marry someone else?” Seriously, how stupid did I look? This was clearly nothing but a trap—a “tell me what I want to hear, or I’ll make your life a living hell” game. Knowing this, I would always paste a…